Saturday, April 16, 2011

Insomnija 101 / Insomnia 101



Oko posmatraca, sedmi post:

Nikad nisam mogao da spavam u "vreme spavanja". Istina, nikad nisam hteo da budem klise i da se uklapam u neku opste-prihvacenu, nametnutu "normalu", ali ovo nema nikakve veze sa mojim decijim/tinejdzerskim/odraslim buntom. Noc za mene nije, kao za vecinu ljudi, vreme kad iskljucim mozak i odmaram telo. Naprotiv. To je period dana kada mi se slike u glavi iskristalisu, kada su najjasnije. To je period dana kada sam i fizicki najaktivniji. Mnogi nazivaju ovo poremecajem, ja bih pre rekao da je evolucijski normalna stvar.

Nekad smo ziveli u pecini i s'obzirom da ne vidimo dobro u mraku najnormalnija stvar je bila da se sklupcamo, cekamo da svetlost ponovo dodje sa neba i nadamo se da nas nesto sto ima bolji vid ne pojede u medjuvremenu. Svaki dan od tada pa do danas je pobeda inteligencije nad vidom. Jer to je ono sto nas odvaja od zivotinja. Um treba da vlada nad culima, a ne obrnuto. Zivimo u vremenu kada sami stvaramo stvari koje nam trebaju i svetlost je sigurno jedna od najvaznijih. Zato volim da razmisljam o "insomnijacima" kao o pionirima evolucije. Noc je za mene vreme kada se sve utisa, a opet se sve cuje. Vreme kada sam ucio da ne ponavljam godinu. Vreme kada vezbam, kada mi um udje i hiperaktivno stanje. Vreme kada sam naj. Vreme kada sam napisao sve prosle postove.

Sa druge strane, to sto sam nocna osoba ne znaci da ne volim dan, Sunce, toplotu... Nisam u tom vampirskom, u danasnje vreme toliko popularnom fazonu. Cak i jutra umeju da budu prijatna iako sam uglavnom jedva pri sebi od neispavanosti. I opet znam da cu, bez obzira na to koliko mi se spava ujutru, uvece opet biti u svom elementu a ne u svom krevetu.

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Eye of the beholder, post seven:

I could never sleep when it was "sleeping time". I never wanted to be a cliche and to fit in with some widely-accepted, imposed "normal behavior", but this has nothing to do with my childhood/adolescent/adult rebellion. Night for me isn't the time when I shutdown my brain and rest mu body, like it is for most people. On the contrary. Its a period when pictures in my head are crystal-clear, when they're the sharpest. It's also the period when I'm physically most active. Many people call this a disorder, I would rather call it an evolutionary normal thing.

We use to live in caves and considering we can't see very well in the dark it was normal to curl up, wait for the light to come again from the sky and hope not to get eaten by something with better eye sight. From that time until today, every day has been a victory of intelligence over eye sight. Because thats what separates us from the animals. Mind should rule our senses, not the other way around. We live in a time when we create things that we need and light is definitely one of the most important ones. Thats why I like to think about "insomniacs" as pioneers of evolution. Night for me is the time when everything goes quiet, and yet I can hear everything. The time when I studied so I wouldn't flunk the year. The time when I work out, when my mind goes hyperactive. The time when I'm "the most". The time when I wrote all the past posts.

On the other hand, me being a person of the night doesn't mean that I'm not a fan of daylight, the Sun, warmth... I'm not into that vampire, these days so popular, stuff. Even mornings can be pleasant, although I'm almost always barely myself due to lack of sleep. And again I know that, despite how much I'm tired in the morning, when the night comes I'll be in my element and not in my bed.